On St. Patrick's Day last week, at 3 pm in the afternoon, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer. The previous week I'd had 3 core biopsies of a suspicious looking lump that had developed very quickly over the last few weeks. That afternoon of diagnosis is just a series of shock patches in my memory that tore me apart and was so hard to share with my loved ones.
The days following were an emotional rollercoaster and I learned several things very quickly - I learned that suddenly Google was a dangerous place so I stopped googling even positive things about this disease as somehow Google always gave me the good, the bad and the downright horrifying. I also learned that if I share my diagnosis with others, then I could receive positive, hopeful things and as I began to share, I found friends and family who brought forth breast cancer stories of their own of survival and hope which I found and am still finding as a salve to my soul!
I'm normally a very positive person and as a Libran, I tend to have ways to process any trauma and usually find peace and balance within a short time, but this is such a new experience so my balancing is taking a little longer than normal.
To help with my mental and emotional stress, I've been receiving Reiki healing from an amazing woman who my mum found while looking at ways to manage what was happening. Tracy Lichenstein (www.positivereflextherapy.co.uk) is incredible and I felt a deep sense of peace after my first remote session last night so I've booked another session for today to help me heal and feel more open to what is coming. I've also been following meditations conducted by Mingtong Gu which has also helped me feel much more positive about what is to come.
I've always been very in tune with my own energy and have always meditated and enjoyed feeling a deep connection to the world around me and the universe so this reconnecting is something I'm familiar with and trust especially when healing from trauma so it's very rejuvenating having this renewal of healthy light surrounding my body and giving me the knowledge that I am heading into a deep spiritual journey and that this change is good for the health of my whole self.
I'm told that my cancer has been detected early and that it's curable and having spoken with a dear friend who is a survivor of this same cancer, I feel ready for what is to come and even oddly, a little excited! So many feelings to process!
So I've decided to share my story as it unfolds (to the best of my ability) during my coming journey and I look forward to looking back when I'm cancer-free and seeing the distance I've travelled and being thankful for who I have become from my experiences and those I've been touched by along the way.
I'm seeking a second opinion which I've learned last week, is my right as a patient so I've happily arranged an appointment with Dr Gui at the Royal Marsden for this coming Friday. I'm so thrilled and grateful to have an appointment with this doctor as he is a top specialist and the Royal Marsden is the best place to go for the treatment of cancer. I'm so looking forward to meeting him and learning what I can do.
So I will keep attempting to write blog posts every Monday as I think it will be good for me to share my experiences from diagnosis to cancer survivor. If you read along with me as I take this journey, please don't worry if I miss a Monday post as I will catch up.
In the meantime, while I wait for my next medical appointments, I'm going to get back to the role of being an artist while still fully connected and plugged into the healing light end energy of the universe.